My Friend, the Merchant
by Metal-Daddy
Summary: The Merchant agrees to be Leon's bodyguard for a price, and it turns out the Merchnt actually cares what happens to the ex-officer! How will Leon's adventures go now? Find out! Rated T for violence and language.
1. Welcome, Stranger!

**Alright, here's my third story ever and first for Resident Evil. I was inspired by the lack of merchant fans to write this. Enjoy!**

_**Disclaimer: **_**I don't own Resident Evil, because if I did, I'd build myself a zombie blasting chamber.**

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**Chapter 1: Welcome, Stranger!**

Leon quickly shot the infected mercenary right in the head, causing a parasite to appear.

"Shit…" the blonde agent swore.

He began to unload on the tentacle-ish monster, but to no avail.

"This thing is tougher than the others!" he exclaimed, taking his shotgun out to finish it.

And with a blast, it fell to the ground, it's incessant twitching coming to a cease.

"That oughta teach the bugger," Leon said, side stepping the creature.

As he went away from the scene, he felt something wrap around his ankle and tighten suddenly, and from instinct he looked down. "Crap!" he proclaimed, as the not-so-dead parasitic head's tentacles wrapped tighter, threatening to cut off his blood flow.

He took out his knife to finish the job, when a thunderous shot was sounded. The tentacle loosened its grip, and Leon was freed. Knowing that it was a gunshot that freed him, he took out his gun, ready to return fire.

"Well, Stranger! Looks like you're slippin' up, ey?" a raspy voice arose.

Leon holstered his gun, knowing the familiar voice. "When did you get here?"

"Been here for quite a while, Stranger. I got some rare-" the Merchant was interrupted.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You got some rare things on sale, 'Stranger!'" he retorted.

Slightly offended, the purple garbed man revealed himself from around a corner, "Well, if yeh want to be like that, then maybe oi should just go on 'n sell this _magnum _to someone who would oppreciate et, eh, Stranger?"

With a sigh, the ex-cop took out his XL attache' case, and took out his pesetas, "How much?" he said, without emotion.

"Oh… about sixty-five thousand should do."

"What?! What's the firepower on that thing?" he asked in a shocked voice.

"Right now, Stranger, it is about fifteen. But, if you get its _exclusive _upgrade, it can be a whopping fifty!" he exclaimed, revealing the gun from his cloak.

The cop took it, and examined it carefully. It looked like a normal revolver, except that it had a few more mechanisms.

"Hmph. I'll take it."

"Heheheh, Thank you…" he said, snagging the pesetas and forking over the Broken Butterfly magnum.

Putting the gun away in his suitcase, Leon inquired, "What do you even do with that money? Buy those eerie glow in the dark contacts?"

Once he had finished pocketing his money, the Merchant replied defensively, "Wot oi do with my money is none of your concern, Stranger. And how should _I _know why my eyes glow?! Ask the people down at Capcom!"

"Capcom?" Leon raised an eyebrow.

"If'n there's somebody in a third dimension watchin' us right naow, they'll know wot oi'm talkin' about, Stranger."

Leon shrugged, and said, "Seeya. Don't get killed."

"Eheh heh… don' you worry about me, Stranger."

"Oh, and my name is Leon, not '_Stranger_'. Got that?"

The Merchant smirked, "Whatever you say, _Stranger._"

"grr…" he growled, trying desperately not to throttle the irritating man.

"Oh, and oi almost forgot! For a limited time only, yeh can hire me as a body guard!"

The blonde man raised an eyebrow so high, it almost left his face, "You? A bodyguard? What can _you _do for me?"

The purple-garbed man merely pointed at the deceased infested ganados body that he had just shot.

"Hm… it can get wearing on my mentality being alone here… how much?"

"For the low, low price of-!"

"If it's above a hundred thousand, then don't even finish talking," he stopped the Merchant.

He closed his mouth, and pondered for a moment. "Alright, for the low, low price of ninety-nine thousand nine hundred 'n ninety-nine!" he said, without the remotest hint of sarcasm.

At this, Leon gave him a stink-eye, and forked over his last few pesetas to the greedy man.

"This should last you, oh, say… ten 'ours of moi time, Stranger."

"What?!"

"Unless oi like yeh, 'n oi'll stay longer. But oi don't much loike anybody. Oi sold me own mum fer a couple hundred thousand pesetas, you know!"

Not wanting to discuss things any longer, Leon made a hand motion for them to set out.

The Merchant silently followed, making less sound then Leon was thought possible for a man carrying so much gear. They approached a ledge, with two mercenaries standing unknowingly below them.

"'old on a moment, Stranger," he whispered.

Before Leon could stop him, the Merchant had jumped off, landing on the head of one of the mercenaries, and quickly hopped off as the now unconscious man fell to the floor. Right as the other one opened his mouth, it was filled with black boot, effectively crushing his jaw and ramming a few bones into his brain.

"Come on down, Stranger!"

Leon, for the first time since arriving at the cursed village and making his way to the island, gave a bit of a smile at the non-chalantness of the Merchant. As he jumped down, he thought, "this might be the beginning of a beautiful bodyguard-ship…"

Upon landing, a nearby mercenary yelled in alarm as he saw his two dead friends and the two intruders. "Gonasho!" he yelled in an unintelligible language. A large onslaught of the mercenaries poured forth, trapping them against the face of the small cliff they had just jumped from.

"Close yer eyes, Stranger," the Merchant whispered, as he whipped out a flash grenade from his pocket.

Leon had barely any time to shield his head before the blue hand held explosive went off. He opened them again, and saw the dozens of mercenaries crouched over, holding their heads in agony. The Merchant then took out the legendary Chicago Typewriter from his vast and endless cloak, and unloaded on the hapless soldiers. Once Leon had looted the bodies, collecting four green herbs, seven-thousand pesetas, forty-five handgun ammo, eight rifle ammo, and three incendiary grenades, he questioned his greedy guard, "don't suppose you'd be willing to sell that?"

"Only after yeh complete the game 'n Ada's side games, Stranger."

"What the hell are you talking about?! What game? And how do you know Ada?" he said, truly confused by the Merchant's remark.

"Once again, if'n there's somebody in'a third dimension watchin' us roight naow, they'll know wot oi mean…" he said, looking up.

"You're a whacko…" said Leon, hiding the fact he was enjoying the Merchant's company.

"Let's go, Stranger. There'll be more soon," he gestured for them to hurry.

As Leon ran with his purple ally, he knew that the hell he would encounter would be a _shit-load _easier now.

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**Alright, first chapter of my newest story. Please review, if you want to see later chapters. I won't bother posting again if nobody's interested. And now, for other stuff…**

**Special thanks to:**

**No one at the moment!**

**And you people (Resident Evil fans) need to give the Merchant more love! Without him, you'd be a screwed little country bumpkin during your adventure into feudal Spain!**


	2. Leon's Got a New Toy!

I'm back

**I'm back! With chapter two of ****My Friend, the Merchant!**** Here we go, please keep all arms, legs, and personal belongings inside the ride at all times, and we hope you enjoy the ride.**

_**Disclaimer: **_**I don't own Resident Evil or any of its characters. If I did, I'd send a horde of zombies after enemies. But no one is a zombie, so I must not own it.**

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**Chapter 2: Leon gets a New Toy!**

"Careful, Stranger. Oi be hearin' noises oi don't like much," said the purple-garbed man, holding his Killer7 ready (seeing as how Leon had already bought the Broken Butterfly, the Merchant kept the more modern magnum for his self).

"There's always noises here… like, right now, I'm hearing somebody shouting, 'no, Leon! Reload! Don't swing your knife!" he said, as he swung his knife at thin air.

The Merchant shook his head, "It be those third dimensioners, oi tell yeh. The other day, oi dreamt yeh shoot me with a rocket launcher, and laughed as yeh killed yerself, because you had already typed in the typewriter…"

Leon merely shook his head, thinking about how probable it was that they had both gone insane.

"This way," Leon pointed down a corridor with stairs at the end.

"Oi don't know, Stranger. Oi'm getting' a bad vibe from down there…" he said, holstering his magnum.

"Fine, I'll go ahead, and you cover my back."

He shrugged, and withdrew a Matilda handgun. Leon stopped, seeing the new gun, "What's that?"

The Merchant laughed, "Et be a Matilda 9mm handgun, Stranger. Has a special burst-fire option. Heheheh…" he finished with his eerie laugh.

Leon shook himself, and walked onward. There was a loud series of clangs and shouts, which the pair was unable to locate. A barrage of gunshots, like a machine gun shooting cannonballs, beat upon their eardrums. Leon broke into a small sweat, and the Merchant quickly tweaked his Matilda pistol to exclusive (of course he'll upgrade his own guns!). They reached a small flight of stairs, and proceeded upwards. By now the shouts had turned into a malevolent cackle. As they approached a door at the top step, the Merchant pushed past Leon, holstering his gun with a smile hidden under his violet face-scarf. The ex-cop was about to object to this assured suicide, but his greedy companion put a finger to where his lips would be, and pushed the door open. On the other side was Leon's most recent foe, J.J. and his mini-gun. He was just finishing turning one of his loud-mouthed subordinates into Swiss cheese (hence the shouts & gunshots) when he turned his head to the duo.

First, when he saw the Merchant, his face slightly lit up. Then, his attention turned to Leon, and took careful aim, causing his chain gun to begin to whir. The blonde agent turned to run, but the glowing-eyed man stopped him. The Merchant shouted at J.J., "Kori Ondo! Turuk!"

The mercenary captain was obviously puzzled, as could be soon by his arching eyebrows. But, he released the trigger and the gun stopped before any bullets were shot. He yelled back, "Haghk! Ojariko!"

The Merchant gestured for Leon to stay, and approached the officer. They then commenced to go into a deep conversation, with much gibberish to Leon, and many hand gestures on their behalves. Finally, when Leon was about to sit and rest, they clasped hands and laughed. The chain-gun toting man came over to Leon with a smile, holding out his hand in friendship. Warily, Leon accepted the hand. The commander had such a strong handshake, it was all Leon could do to not cry out in pain. As the two men withdrew their hands, Leon asked, "You speak English?"

"Short off. Et shorrible Engirlsh. I ashk marshant teh tolk, yar?"

After a minute of translating in his head, he said, "sure, let's let the Merchant talk for you."

"Well then, Stranger, it would seem as if'n yeh've already met my friend 'ere, J.J.. Say, Stranger, would you like a new machine gun?" asked the cloaked man.

Leon, thinking of his dinky TMP, quickly answered, "Hell, yes."

Upon hearing this, the Merchant began another conversation with the militant leader, this time even more confusing than the last one. Leon sighed, and sat down, thinking, _"This is going to take awhile." _

Leon noticed the Merchant point repeatedly to the massive chain-gun in J.J.'s hands and then to Leon himself. J.J. was shaking his head repeatedly, becoming exasperated. Finally, the Merchant withdrew a small gun from his cloak, and said something referring the withdrawn gun and his chain-gun. J.J. laughed, raising an "are you serious?" eyebrow to his friend. It was the Merchant's turn to laugh. He pushed aside the general, and took aim at the subordinate that J.J. had killed before the pair's arrival. Leon heard a thunderous boom, and what looked like a glowing orb fly at the body. The next thing he knew, there was a massive explosion around the body, and once it cleared, the Merchant gestured to the body, or actually the lack thereof. J.J. and Leon's jaws dropped in unison, and J.J. quickly bundled up his gun and trade it with the Merchant. J.J. gave a few short phrases, and was gone.

"What was that?!" Leon exclaimed.

"That was the Handcannon, Stranger. Packs almost as big a punch as a rocket launcher."

"Woah…"

The violet-garbed man gave a chortle, "Eh-heh heh! Well, Stranger, catch!" he said as he threw the newly acquired machine-gun at Leon.

Leon was floored by the gun, landing like a turtle on its back. After a brief struggle, he managed to get up with the gun. Seemingly out of nowhere, a voice sounded, "What the-?! First, I can hire the Merchant, and now I befriended J.J. and took his chain-gun?! What is wrong with my copy of this game?!"

The young agent looked around in bewilderment, trying to track down the confused voice, that was equally confusing him, "What was that?!"

The Merchant sighed, "Et be those beings from another dimension again, Stranger. Just ignore them for now, Stranger."

Leon shook his head, wondering what was happening around him lately. He hefted the chain-gun, and unloaded a massive volley of bullets upon a nearby wall. The wall never stood a chance, and was quickly decimated. When the smoke and dust cleared, Leon almost laughed at what he saw on the other side of the wall. A militant was sitting on a toilet, sleeping. The sound of the Merchant laughing awoke the man, who quickly shook off the drowsiness, cursing himself as he pulled up his pants and fled the scene.

Turning to his traveling salesman of a friend, Leon said with respect, "Thank you… what do you go by?"

"Ah've got many names, Stranger. Some call me Merchant, others the Purple Devil. But ye can call me Charlie."

Leon couldn't help but let loose a giggle, "Charlie?" he retorted, not believing that someone so mysterious and odd could have such a… _stupid name!_

At this, 'Charlie' gave him the middle finger salute, replying, "It's not me real name, but it's wot oi want yeh to call me, fer now."

Leon smiled, and said, "okay, I'll call you Charlie, but only if you call me Leon."

The Merchant pondered this, and gave a chuckle, "Nah. Go ahead n' call meh Merchant. Ah don't think oi like callin' ye Leon, Stranger."

Our American agent gave an angry growl.

The firearms-dealer looked at the sun, saying, "Et's been ten hours, Stranger."

Leon's jaw dropped, "You're leaving already?!"

At this, the Merchant raised his hands, as if to calm Leon, "Relax, Stranger! Oi said if'n oi loiked yeh, ah'd stick wit ye a bit longer, didn't oi?"

Leon gave a sigh of relief, "Okay, then… shall we move on…?"

"Sounds loike a great plan."

And so the ex-cop and the illegal-weaponry bearer set off, guns poised for any battles ahead.

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**Well, there it is! Chapter 2. sorry that it took so long, but I haven't had the heart to pick up my keyboard as of late. Now, for the thank you's!**

**Thank you to:**

**Black Light Princess- I never thought about it as a bodyguard of a bodyguard, but now it's given me a slightly different look on the story.**

**AdaWong-x-LeonS.Kennedy****- ****The Merchant is definitely up there with Ada for best character.**

**Obi-Wanster- Don't we all wish the Merchant was our bodyguard?**

**Alexa- Yes, the Merchant is awesomeness. He is also all that and a bag of chips.**

**The todo bien tu vieja- I believe the Merchant is very popular, but nobody will admit they love such a weirdo… unlike us. **


	3. I had a Friend!

Alright guys, I'm sorry I haven't been on in so long with an update, but here goes a new chapter

Alright guys, I'm sorry I haven't been on in so long with an update, but here goes a new chapter!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil. If I did, you'd probably be a mindless zombie at my control by now. But you're not… at least I hope so. Nor do I own the song, the 'highway man'.**

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**Chapter 3: I had a Friend!**

"_I was a Highway Man, along the coach roads I did ride! _

_With sword and pistol by my side._

_Many a young maid lost her baubles to my prey._

_Many a soldier shed his lifeblood on my blade._

_The bastards hung me, in the spring of '25, but I am still alive!_

_I was a sailor, I was born upon the tides! And with the sea, I did abide!_

_I sailed a schooner around the horn of Mexico._

_I went aloft and furled the mainsail in a blow._

_And when the yards broke off, they said that I got killed._

_I was a dam builder, across the river deep and wide._

_Where steel and water did collide!_

_A place called Boulder on the wild Colorado…_

_I slipped and fell into the wet concrete below. _

_They buried me in that tomb that knows no sound, but I am still around…_

_I'll always be around… and 'round and 'round, and 'round and 'round… _

_I fly a starship, across the universe divide. _

_And when I reach the other side, I'll find a place to rest my spirit if I can._

_Perhaps I may become highway man again._

_Or I may be a single drop of rain._

_But I will remain…_

_I'll be back again, and again, and again, and again, and again…"_

"What song is that?" inquired Leon.

"'Et be "a Highway Man", Stranger. Like it?" wheezed the Merchant.

The agent grunted a 'yes', shocked that his gruff companion had such a spectacular singing voice. He lay down, the warmth of the fire heating him immensely. Leon contemplated their last encounter, which involved the Merchant convincing a _Garrador_, of all things, to stop fighting.

'_Glad he's got such a silver tongue," _he thought.

On the other side of the fire, the Merchant began whistling "Miss American Pie". The ex-cop, calmed by his companion's soothing songs, began to think of what Ashley would think of the Merchant helping him. It was clear to him that she had a disdain for the man. She said it was his 'wheezy laugh'.

"Hey, do you live in Spain? Or are you just traveling here from your home country?"

The silence was thick, only broken by the popping and crackling of the fire. Then, the violet-garbed man responded, "Ah can't recall what me home country is, Stranger. So ah can't really say if'n ah'm travelin' really, or just searchin'…"

After he said this, the Merchant lay down, muttering a low, "Goodnight, Stranger."

Leon pondered upon his friend's comment, and decided that it gave him a whole new respect for the man who lay snoring across the fire, still laden with his pack and cloak.

Thinking on how to invite the man back to America with him, the blond man was soon claimed by the bliss of sleep.

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He was awoken by a soft voice. It was singing. Shaking sleep from his head, he blinked away his dreams and looked at the source of the singing. Lo and behold, it was the Merchant, singing "Ghost Riders in the Sky".

As if ignoring his now awake companion, the Merchant pulled out an old colt revolver, similar to Leon's Broken Butterfly. Leon could tell in an instant that it was an ancient gun, antique in every sense of the word. The Merchant polished it with his sleeve, and cradled it as he sang, much like a mother would wing to her child.

The agent stood up then, and started, "We should probably move on now. The smoke from last night's fire probably alerted militants to our location."

Seemingly in a trance, he put away his gun and looked toward Leon. For a glancing moment, it seemed as if the Merchant's eyes were moist with tears. But, as quickly as Leon had thought the thought, the Merchant blinked away any evidence that Leon could've gathered.

"Aye, Stranger. We should 'ead out over there," he pointed to a small encampment a fair distance to their north.

"Then let's go," Leon said with a grin.

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With a loud clang, the lock shattered from the force of Leon's kick. Out rushed a distraught Ashley, who threw her arms about Leon, "Leon! You're alive!"

Leon gave Ashley a recap of how the Merchant came to travel with him. She seemed to look at him with a great deal less disdain than she had previously, but disgust was still apparent in her face.

"Now let's get the hell out of here, shall we?" inquired Leon with an adventurous twinkle in his eye.

The Merchant, whose eyes were every bit as dazzling, responded, "Ah think we're already in hell, Stranger."

Ashley whispered to Leon, "Why does he call you Stranger? Doesn't he know your name?"

"He just likes to call me Stranger."

Just then, a loud whirring sound was heard. It was an incredibly loud whirring, with many an apparent pop and crack emitting from the same source. Leon deducted it was a chainsaw, but it sounded much more hefty than the one that Salvador carried.

"Is that Salvador-?" Leon began, but was quickly interrupted by the wide-eyed Merchant.

"'et be Salvador, Stranger. But this one be of the likes ye've never seen afore. Ah suggest ye get out o' here while ye can, Stranger. This Salvador ain't one to be persuaded. Just the fact 'e's 'ere shows that Saddler wants us deader 'n dead. Ah doubt ah'll live through this, Stranger, so ah bid ye well."

"I'm not going to let you fight this thing alone!" the agent exclaimed, the whirring growing louder.

"Don't make me force ye out, Stranger."

"You'll have to try pretty hard, my friend."

"Yer friend? Eheheheh! Ye've made me day, Stranger. Knowin' ah had a friend afore ah died is a great comfort. But, ah'll have to see ye in another life, Stranger," and with that, he threw a flash grenade on the floor.

Leon and Ashley felt a thud across their guts that knocked them out a door behind them. It was quickly shut and locked as they got up. From the other side of the door, they heard a thud as the other entry to the room was blasted down by something big.

"I had a friend!" cried the Merchant.

The pair heard three loud retorts of a magnum, and then a loud scream. It was an unearthly scream that chilled them to the very bone. It never left either of their minds for as long as they lived, and it haunted them until their dying days. It was the Merchant's scream. His scream was cut short by the sound of the whirring connecting with cloth, and shortly after that- flesh. For what seemed like an eternity, the chainsaw went through flesh and bone, all the while the Merchant's scream never stopping.

And then, silence. Leon wiped a tear from his eye, and knew he had to get Ashley to safety before the chainsaw started up again. He grabbed her hand and ran, ran only as a blind man would, stumbling and stubbing himself with every step. His vision blurred, and despite his training to remain calm, he found himself desperate and alone. If the Merchant was killed, how could he ever hope to get out of there alive? Despair sank over him, and he collapsed onto the floor. Ashley sank with him, and together they wept. Ashley of fear, and Leon of loss.

For a long while they cried. Leon, realizing that his bodyguard was gone and that he was a guard himself once again, started towards a nearby shack to shelter in for the night. He carried the still crying Ashley in, and laid her on a surprisingly-clean bed. The guard then went on to bar the door with anything around the shed. He had no worry about anything but the door, seeing as how the shack was built into a cliff, and the only point of entry was the door itself.

Sinking onto the bed beside the president's daughter, he sighed.

"He's gone."

Ashley was too dazed at the death of the man she had known shortly to answer.

"I was going to bring him back to America."

She looked at him, but said nothing.

"He was my friend."

The orange-clad woman held his hand in comfort.

"I… was his friend."

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Sorry this one was so short… and in my opinion crappy. I'll revise it (hopefully) when I'm not dead tired. I thought it was deep and impacting as I wrote it, but when I reread it, it really is too short. Hopefully I'm not too lazy to improve it.


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